Mackenzie's Deep Thoughts on "fake hands"

A couple of nights ago, I picked up what I thought was a small, plastic bead - only to realize it was a broken glass bead - which resulted in a superficial cut across the tip of my finger.  Not a big deal, right?

Now I don't know about your cherubs, but at our house, the mere site of injury is cause for bringing out the little one's inner DRA-MA queen!  She demanded to know what happened.

I dismissed the incident as nothing...because I enjoy sleep that is uninterrupted.   And if any child's overactive imagination could turn a paper cut into a full fledged nightmare at 2 am, it would be hers.

But she wanted to know more.

I calmly explained what happened, and I thought I was free of night time drama.

But I wasn't.


Bed time rolled around... and then this happened...

"Mommy, can glass cut your hand off?"

...and we're off to the races!


Trying to head off a sleepless night for both of us, I opted for short, concise answers leaving no room for additional questions and explanations.

Or so I thought.


"No.  Glass can't cut your hand off"

"Is there such a thing as a fake hand?"

"Yes, but it's called a prosthetic"

Big words usually distract her...

But not this time.


"Mommy, how do you get a fake hand?  Do you just like, go to the store and pick one up?"

"No.  They have to make them for each person."


Satisfied with that answer, she became quiet.

Whew! 


Then...

"How do they keep it on your arm?"

"It depends on the type of prosthetic they use."

"Mommy, if my hand got cut off, would you get me a fake one?"

"Of course I would"


She took a moment to digest this while my hope for a peaceful night's sleep dwindled.


"Well, what if I had a fake hand, and I fell down at school, and I couldn't get up, and someone had to pull me up, and they accidentally pulled my hand off?  What then?"


...and I kissed the hope of sleeping good-bye!

Mackenzie on Revenge aka "Pay Backs"

So there I was, enjoying a few minutes of quiet in my nice hot bath, when the little one walks in.

"Mom...?" she pauses... sighs... pauses again for dramatic effect "this is the problem.  Today... at school... the kids were making fun of me because they said that I ate (insert another 5 year old child's name here) cheese stick, but I DIDN'T!"

She pauses again, then perks up and says "So you know what?" crosses her arms defiantly "It's time for pay backs!" (note to self - find the child's version of How to Win Friends and Influence People)

Me, innocently "What do you mean 'pay backs'?"

Her "You know...pay backs!  Like if a kid be's mean to me (don't you love it when kids say "be's" instead of "is"?), then I'll be mean back to them!  Like, if they kick someone, then you just...you know... (she has this incredulous look on her face as to WHY I don't know this) kick them back!" She didn't say 'Duh!' but I can hear it in her voice.

I'm still gathering my thoughts as to the best way to manage this situation, which she apparently interpreted as my being too stupid to understand what she is telling me.

She leans in, puts her hands on the side of the tub, makes very direct eye contact with me, slows her words down and says "Mom!  LI-STEN to my words!"

I'm struggling not to laugh because I'm always telling her to "LI-STEN to what I am saying".

"Like if a kid kicks you? You kick them back!" shrugs her shoulders to emphasize the simpleness of her point.  "If they kick you again, you just kick them back - but harder than what they kicked you!  It's paybacks! See?"

Don't you feel bad for the first boy who tries to kiss her?